Well it has been donkey years since i last updated, but I just felt like updating suddenly. Everyone's moving on in life once again, looking back at my formative years in AHS and VJC I guess I am also moving on in life again.
Of cause now, I am doing nothing, looking for a job but not really getting one, because of working hours, kinda tough for me. Once again, Multi-Level Marketing comes knocking on the door, this time it is Venture Era and I am thinking again if this would be the best solution for me. Other jobs on the line are the telemarketing job and the Urban Blue Oasis restaurant.
Anyway life has come to a grinding halt for me because the process of studying has suddenly stopped for me and sometimes i feel like my brain is already degenerating. Thinking of digging out my jc maths sums and start doing again, at least exercise the mind into doing some work.
The past few years has really been a big change in my life, from the things I do and the way I do things now it would be quite a shocker a few years ago that i would be leading a life like that now. 3 years ago, my life was in a mess and even though everything on the surface in life was perfect and was like superb, but deep down inside i knew that God wasn't around in my life. It finally broke one day when i attended a cell group meeting which i had long backslided from and the CGL or somebody shared that if we do not hear from God, then we do not know God. Now that scared me, because partly I didn't want to go to hell, and i was just curious. Because since young I have been longing for something tangible from God, something which I know would leave a mark in my life. Perhaps when I was young i was tender to God and trusted God. I remembered when i was in a St John Camp in sec2 i told God that if he would deliever me out of the St John Camp i wold stop my lifestyle and go back to him and eventually i became sick during the camp.
I grew old, got into a relationship, strayed from God by not going fellowship anymore, den became the VP of student council and after the handover that's when God honoured the promise i made, for me. I felt extremely empty inside of me. Everything was meaningless, becoming famous, having a name for myself, making many friends seems like something that will become nothing in matter of time. And i had this sense of lostness in my spirit, and i longed for something to fill the hole in my heart that i was feeling.
I rememberd all the things people say, that God is truly the only one who could satisfy us, the desire in our hearts. Yada yada with all the crap about wad we have a hole that God could fill. But i just decided to give God a try again, I tried going to CHC and KPC (Mr Chua's church), but i just couldn't find what i was looking for in God. One day the CSCC AHS outreach came knocking on the door, juli handed me a postcard to invite me for One Big Day! And I decided that I would like to go to just see, and find some purpose in my own life.(also because got free food and alot of AHS ppl going) So When I reached there, I almost did not respond to the salvation call but thanks to tiffany, (she encouraged me to go forward, Tiffany if it wasn't for you that very faithful day, i wouldn't have been saved today.) I went upfront to accept Jesus as my Lord and saviour. Finally the road embarking for me for a relationship with God started, maybe you were like me at the point of time i did not feel anything special when I accepted Jesus, but as the weeks went by the relationship with God just grew and I finally found that which I have been looking for and from then on I dedicated my life to His Kingdom and just want to do the things that he wants me to do. It has been a long journey to the day that I got saved, truly saved and born again as they always say. To me He has just been so faithful to me and its amazing to see what He could do to deliever me. No more shame and hiding from that secret sin which I was struggling with. Of cause many things had to be sorted out in my life, but I gladly welcomed God to change me, because i knew that there's no other reason that I should live my life for from there onwards. Not just in the mind know, but in my heart I knew that, that would be the right choice.
Finally Christianity no longer was a religion but a relationship.
That was the beginning of my love story, its realli like the song of songs, loving one another getting intimate with Him. Longing for His presence and just wanting to kiss the lips of Him and see Him and get to be His beloved whom he has run after for since the day that I was born. (To me you have run over the hills upon the mountains) He's captured my heart as he has captured many other hearts....
I am glad that His love is not only extended to me, but to everyone else that would allow him to also. My life changed, yours can be changed too, if you would give your life to him.
(I never understood in the past why ppl were so committed to Church, but now I know the reason why)
I dunno what I would be doing now if it wasn't for You. Thank You for the grace You showed. The only sacrifice worth giving You is my whole life, because everything else belongs to You. You gave me my talents and my skills, but my life I choose to give to You. Forever may Your name be lifted up and raised higher than the heavens!Praise be to God, who reigns forever! Amen!
THE NINJA OF FIRE
Well! A really cool thing just happened. So long nv blog. bUt i decided to blog this down because it meant something to me. Well, yesterday was finally the end of the prelim examinations, thankz to all those who have been praying for me! Especially YaoYi, my sheep, hahaz, he has been faithfully praying for me, really thank him for showing such care and concern for me.
Yesterday Night, was a meeting with Pastor Joaquim, and then we served the pastors at the T3 of the Church. It was really funneh, cause there were like candles on the table and the place was like romantic? hahaz but it was a nice serving the pastors, got people say we can be SIA liaoz. Actualli they just saying very good service la. Hahaz.
BUdden of cause that is not the main thing la. The happy thing that I had was going out with Zach SYL after the meeting. Been a long time since i went out with him just to go out and share our hearts and just talk about anything. He has really been a good friend to me and I really appreciate his presence in my life as a fren, of cause there are others. But I wanna thank him especially. We went to the beach after the meeting, den we started walking along east coast and just talking, hahaz, it was fun. We ended up on one of the beaches tired from walking and ended up sitting on the sand, den lying on the sand. Hahaz...so funnehz. We acty wanted to find breakwater one...budden cannot find breakwater got privacy one ar. hahaz...guess wad we did at the beach? SING! hahaz...of cause our favourite past time is to sing when we're at the beach, one of us will sing the melody and the other one would harmonise along. (though it wasn't what we did mainly for that night, we sort of talked more than sung)
Anywayz we talked till 3am in the morning...and we didn't even realised it was already that earli in the morning. hahaz...den i said i wanted to eat breakfast at mac...so we waited till breakfast time opens which i now know is 4am. hahaz....His family so funnehz, bolt the door! Den we got key open the wooden door also cannot open, in the end have to trouble Uncle Su (His father) to open the door for us. Hahaz, den after eating the breakfast i was so tired, and yet dirty with sand, so i just slept on his living room floor, cause i didn't wanna dirty his bed. So i was like actually drifting into sleep liaoz...hahaz, den he call me up ask me go his room sleep. Den he let me sleep his bed (as always), budden this time i say dun wan...cause bu hao yi si ma...so dirty den sleep his bed. Den he say nvm just sleep la...its ok one. Den when i refuse he said..sleep la...hahaz BUdden i very nice...i took away the blanket and place it on his desk, so that i can keep minimum damage. hahaz. I'm touched by his friendship, simple acts sometimes defines alot of things, and his simple act made me feel like i am special to him. =] THankz Buddy...you rockz.
Btw your family has got very good hospitality. Hahaz...realli rocks de lo! Your parents are ultra nice also, and i played Scrabble with his family before...hahaz. So fun! Heh...=] I love all my friends, and i want to thank them for being part of my life. Especially those who have stood by me. thankz. =] David Ng Yang Sheng that includes you, thankz for taking interest in my life, i appreciate you too...your just real to me, which is good. Sometimes we just get too clouded by all the religiosity that Christians take on overtime, that we don't realise that we all face struggles, we all have weaknesses. All hiding under a mask, because we're afraid that if we let the world know who we truly are on the inside us, they'll despise us. --> Stained Glass Masquerade.
Stained Glass Masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
Chorus x2
Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
A Crate that is yet to be opened...what's your destiny? Do you know where you are headed?
THE NINJA OF FIRE
Have been thinking for the past few weeks and months perhaps, what career should i go into. I am still not sure, in school they're talking about all the scholarships yet i dunno wad i wanna take in university. This is so ...dunno which career to go into. Nothing really interests me, i definitely won't want to do research work, neither do I wanna do something which is uninteresting and boring.
My church fren Wendy Yu asked me to go do the myer briggs test to see which career i am suited to go into. Hahaz...she did mention something about me liking to establish deep and meaningful relationships.I think more than having a lot of friends, I think one thing that i really treasure is a friendship that is really established deeply and meaningfuly. I think it's because of something that someone mentioned about Hi-Bye friends and friends that you can really sit down and talk to. I really enjoy having friends around me who I know care for me and I care for them. I like to be around people whom I have a relationship with( Not BGR), it makes me happy to be able to spend time with them. So when I work, i really would like to establish good relationships, not just being colleagues.
And something else, I find great satisfaction in investing in a youth's life, not refering to church work, but in a youth's life whether is it in the secular or non secular. I like to see youths being raised up into the potential that they can be, and also see them mature. Also seeing youths being assured of who they are and being confident of themselves and knowing that they are loved. I love the pleasure of investing in a youth's life, or just making a difference in someone's life and hear them say thank you at the end of the day when they've accomplished something which their potential enables them or that I have made a difference in their lives. Or just them being happy. I like to give advice to younger ones, and share with them experiences if any and just inspire them to be who they can be. I love working with youths, perhaps because of the energy the youths have (say until like i am like an old man like that...hahaz).
I also like to do planning work, and also analyzing a system and doing improvements to the system which is already in place. And also like to plan activities, i actually considered if I could do a camp planning kinda thing for youths. Those Adventure Camps that challenge youths to meet different objectives and come out of the camp different. I think its kinda cool, cause you get to plan camps and activities and also get to interact with youths and also get to do all the adventurous stuff. I think whenever you take on a new fren, a new junior a new youth, its a cool thing. I personally think that a CCA is more than just wad we're doing, but a place where we develop people, with skills that they can bring even after they leave the cca. Which includes values and principles that they can stick by. Every life is important, and I believe that we all can make a difference in someone else's life also, as someone else is also making a difference in our life. I like camp planning, i love the process of camp planning, especially with a close group of frens. I believe work environment should be fun yet professional in our dealings. I think the process of the work is as important as the outcome. If not it would just be another organization. I think what realli marks a good organization from another is also the relationships within the steering committee. It would cause the members of the company to also be involved and engaged. So in a way. i do like the family feeling in particular AHS, which gives me a feeling of home.
I dunno if i have impacted any youths, or made any difference in anybody's life before, but I am happy to do it. And i dun expect anything in return...hahaz. I do it cause I really love youths and i want them to become who they were meant to be and know that each of them are special. Not only one, but everyone of them are special in their own way. I dunnoz wad am i suppose to be, maybe I can be like AHS's Coach Daniel, hahaz...i think it would be rather cool. And if I become a counsellor, i would really love to go back to AHS to work. Hahaz...=] AHS rocks...still my favourite school and forever will be. Though things may have changed alot there, but AHS is still AHS. =]
btw, if u got any suggestions what job i should go into, drop a note...cheers. till the next time, Adieus.
THE NINJA OF FIRE
it's time to wake up...
it's time for me to wake up...
it's time for war...
radical...
crazy...
passionate...
fire brands...
i am Yours forever...
THE NINJA OF FIRE
Today is Chin Meng Bdae!!! Happy Birthday to you!!! whee...another year older liaoz. =]...seen you grow from sec1(E.O.Y.) till now you sec4 liaoz.
yea...finally updating my blog. Nothing much to say also. hmmm...how's life in VJC? still can bahz, hahaz...i am in 06S38, it is a super cool class. hahaz...wad to say man! rockz rockz! yea, budden dun have any close frens la. guess i am not moving out of my social circle yet...still holding on to the yesterdays in AHS. want to move on also difficult bahz, hahaz. sorry if i a little diaoz in school la...hahaz. peng san...you guys still rock. the frenships forged in AHS is realli coolz man, some ahs students think jc life is better than ahs. hahaz...different people different views bahz. bud den again we cannot compare both together, cause both encompasses different culture. hahaz...vjc is like a cheering machine, hahaz...always cheering super coolz. they got good cheers man! Hahaz, realli miss ya guys sia, chinmeng, lao po - sermin, xavier, bla bla bla....hahaz. but the thing is that the world constantly changes...hahaz. So is AHS, so many things have changed within the school, teachers are leaving. wadeva...but the ahs spirit still lingers on. it is not about the school systems and the rules, it is about the bonds forged. If ahs has its students, it will still forever be ahs. hahaz.
hmmm, one of the things i realli liked about ahs is the family feel that it gave me. hahaz...everyday going to school is like going home. hahaz...i seldom stay back in vjc till latenights...budden in ahs is like have been staying back in school till very late last time. hahaz...and stay overnight there for so many nights liaoz thruout the 4 years. hahaz...friends change, hairstyles change, lifes change, only God remains the same.
anywayz air rifle rocks manz...realli love that cca. tho it is my only cca...hahaz. It gives me a homely feeling, something like that of AHS...super cool. hahaz...some place where warmth is more than jus the things on the surface. RoCk on Man AiR RiFlE ClUbz!!! Whoo Hoo...anywayz i got into the exco, air rifle training officer. hahaz.
snore...lotsa things are happening now. must start being a role model and do my homework already...hahaz. peng san..
even though there are problems surfacing, i know that Your always there
even when the waters of trouble rise around me, i know i am safe in Your arms.
Your name O Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe.
whom shall i trust Lord, but You alone.
whom shall i love Father, but You.
My life is at the altar, O Lord, let my life be a pleasing sacrifice for you.
O Lord, thank you for dealing with me.
i have been proud, humble me O Lord.
For who can stand before you and declare themselves as great.
For you alone deserve all glory and praise
And your name shall be exalted above all names
For you are the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, the all potentate.
i know that i am Your child,
i have found Your love
i will never leave You Father
i love You
i love You
Draw me near to your presence
Draw me near,
Let me be intimate with you O Lord
As the deer panthers for the waters,
Lord my soul yearns for You.
You are my heart's desire.
I long to worship You.
O Lord, you called to me, you bid me to come seek your face, "Lord, I am coming".
*It is up in the mountain where God reveals who He is, where He makes goodness to pass before us. Where he declares His name to us. Do you want to ascend the hill of the Lord too? God has been waiting for you. God did not call you into the kingdom, to do his works, it was never about the ministry, not only about preaching the gospel. It was all about intimacy with Him. He bore us on eagles wings, to Himself. That was God's purpose, for delivering us. That we might be His, and know Him intimately.
THE NINJA OF FIRE
Yepz...finally updating again...time flew realli fast thru out this few 4 years. When i was Sec1 i thot tt i still had a lot of time in AHS, and den within a blink of the eye here i am in junior college already. Thru out this 4 years in AHS there are so many things which are worth remembering and thinking about. And most importantly people who have made a difference in my life and people who i have to thank for, for making me who i am to be today and helping me along the way including listening to my problems and talking to me. Regardless of work, friendship or what. Whether I know you for 4 years, for 8years or even for a few months, I just want to say a big thank you to you guys for being there for me and havin the honour to be your fren.
But even b4 i start there is someone very special whom i would like to thank. The rest no order of merit for you guys. But this person is very special to me and he receives the top credit. He is Loh Chin Meng, 4C, Vice-president of 38th Batch Student Council, NCC PS, my closest fren.
Didi: Heyz, mengz...realli wanna thank you alot for everything you have done for me. I realli appreciate everything that you have done for me. Even tho i do not exactly show it but realli thanx alot for everything that you have done for me. You were the one who brought me to where i am today. You were the one who was there beside me durin my Presidential campaign to support me and cheer for me. And never ceasing to give me encouragements even when i felt discouraged. You were the one who helped me during the presidential campaign the most, and showed support for me. We have been thru many things together and spent alot of time with one another, and i appreciated the times spent with you. Whether was it playing or wad, i enjoyed the times that i have spent with you. I still remember we went cycling on one of the days and we cycled around tampines and den went back to pasir ris thru the park connector from tampines back to pasir ris and we cycled to many other areas and even went to macdonald after that. hahaz...and we had to share a meal because we both are bankrupt and we had to share a meal together. =] Doinkz...so funny, den later we cycled back home and i taught u biology on the way home about digestion hahaz. Apart from that, you were also there during my lowest times in my life, always there to show care and concern for me always about my health, studies and other stuff. And your always willing to lend a helping hand to me, whether was it in work or wad, but you were always willing to go the extra mile for a fren. And your truly a fren who is very special to me. I will always remember the times spent playin table tennis, cycling, etc. Even as times move on i still will keep in contact with you, because i do not want to lose this frenship which i have with you. As I have said before and will say again, your someone very special. You're a champ within yourself and you have your own strengths. For eg., you are very strong in listening in to others problems. You have to take time to discover your own talents and areas which you are strong in. I know many people always say this, but realli as you work as you go along, learn to pick up areas which you are strong in and try seeing how you can improve in that area. =]...i realli thank u from the bottom of my heart for all the things which you have done for me both great and small. Whether was it jus a birthday card which you made for me in sec2 or a christmas present. Or even small things like buying me a drink when i wanted to drink. Your the one who built my character up and made me see many areas in my life which needed change. And you saw to it that i changed and helped me along the way, that is whyz in a way you have shaped my life. And you have also thot me alot of things which i would never have learnt else where. Even tho we only met for two years plus, but it was the most wonderful period of time i ever spent with a fren b4. I had alot of fun and laughter with you. Amidst the conflicts, but we still had fun. And i realli thank u for it. Including jumping off the 4th floor to the 3rd...hahaz. And including playing around with the pull up bar. Ur realli good at it arhz...flip around at it. Never seen you do it for a long time le, but still remember the times that u do it. Hahaz...and also how well u can climb...i always hav trouble catching up with you. Hahaz...and last of all playing in the rain. Nobody can take the place and the things which you have done for me in the past few years. you've done so much for me that i dun think anybody else would be able to do that. And your the BEST chin meng. Really appreciated your frenship with me and i treasure the times that i had with u. Your the best fren anyone could i ever hav,....it is my honour to have a fren like you. And i think that i am unworthy of your frenship. Your truly a very good fren, and PEOPLE OUT THERE it is YOUR LOSS if YOU DUN BEFREN HIM!!! He is the most loyal person anybody can hav!!! Anywayz Believe in yourself, work hard, play hard like you used to, study hard and all the best for your 'O'reos this year k? Must get 6pts. If got anyting dunnoz can ask me or ying hui k? thank you...didi I know we will continue to keep in contact!!! Looking forward to the days ahead...=]
here jus three more other pple tt i realli wanna thx too...the rest also wanna thank you all!!! hahaz...anybody who have played a part in my life thankz alot!!!
Xavier: yoz yoz...heyz boi. realli thx alot arhz...hahaz. Been thru alot arhz...tough times and good times. Thx alot for showing so much support in council to aid me and juliana in council. Your one of the most enthusiastic members i hav on the list in student council. Hahaz...we are so coolz manz. We are like in same class, cca, council, exco and we are from the same primary sch. C'mon tell me how cool is that. And we are even in the same dance in sec2. Attitudez! hahaz...doinkz. Wanna thank you for showing support in council and st john. Hahaz...thank u for listening in to my problems with student council and st john. And always suggesting some ideas to help me, hahaz and of cause thinking of solutions. And sitting during lessons and den planning council stuff in between lessons. And being complained by teachers abt our tables being messy and talking too much in class...hahaz...so funny sia. Teachers so funny lorz....always say us for no reason. hahaz...table messy also wanna complain. Funny siaz...but it happens la. Both 4B and 4C always like that. hahaz...thx alot for everything. And appreciate your frenship tt we hav. And even tho we r in diff jcs, but we must keep in contact k? hahaz...doinkz. Anywayz allt he best man...and remember study hard arhz. Stop slackin alr!!! and stop bridging...=]
Hui Min: Han Sai!!! Thx alot arhz stinky poo poo...hahaz. Realli thank you for listening in to my problems. even tho know u for a short while only...as in i knew u b4 but started knowing u better only this year. Thx alot for listening la...hahaz. realli appreciated that, especially when i was sad. yea...=] Be happy your name is here k han sai...your tui hen mei...hahaz...good joke. Dunno wad so funny abt it...but i jus say it cause the rest asked me to. hahaz...doinkz. Anywayz smilez...=]
Kian Hwee: Yoz buddy...thx alot manz. Alwayz make me wait for u in the past arhz...whilst waiting for you to finish ur CS games. Hahaz...i was never an expertise in the LAN gaming or any type of games. THe brainwaves move to slow to react to fast games. Hahaz...doinkz. yea...hahaz.z..even tho we differnt class, cca, pri sch no link @ all. But still managed to end up as very good frens. hahaz...thx alot for all your help. and always ka-chioing me. hahaz....naughty boi. hahaz...realli enjoyed your company around and you've been funny guy. hahaz...even as we move on into the future. Let's continue keeping in contact k? hahaz...and study hard arhz...but sometimes results isn't everything. You have your strengths, work on it. For eg. gaming. Maybe you can be a world class cyber games expert. hahaz..
yea...to the rest...thankz for being my fren and listening to me crap and talk rubbish and also sharing your problems with me if you ever did. =]...i am glad that some of you trusted me with the things of your heart. =]...yea...jus wanna thank you all alot. Yepz...if got anything you would like to share...pls feel free to do so. I am available for counselling anytime...just dial 987-11-284.
Anybody who have played a part in my life...thx alot!!! yea...! whee...everybody out there...thankz alot alot man!
hahaz...but thx for all those who i know. Thx for all the times spent together and for your frenship. Cheers! And all the best in the year ahead...God Bless. =]
thx alot guys for everything u all hav done...=] Smilez always...
THE NINJA OF FIRE
Been a long time since i last updated, been rather busy lately. Yea...the only thing i changed is the music that I am playing. It is the song <
Basically, nothing much had Graduation Night 2005 @ Fullerton Hotel. It was not bad, only that the food wasn't as good as i expected, tasted quite low class in fact. Urghz...horrible. And not to mention the hotel wasn't very good with hospitality, many things which they said on that day they did not do. So it was rather cheating on us like that la. Hahaz...horrendous. Nvm...but the main thing about grad night is not about the food or wad la. It is jus to spend time with your frens. The preparation for grad night was so crazy, we are like busy until like wad trying to rush finding an outfit to wear and making our dumb hairs. hahaz...on that day my hair was like shiny like wad like that. Dotz...yea. Anywayz that is not the excitin part abt the whole grad night la. It was after that when we went to Lau Pa Sat to eat supper, that is the fun part about the whole thing. Me, Hui Min, Ming Wei, Xavier, Jemima, Si Yao, Kelly, Evelyn, Jonathan, Hui Yin...yea. So we ate there and slept over at night there. Den me, hui yin and ming wei were talking...heh. Whee...den the next morning we caught the second morning train den Kelly, Evelyn, Me and Ming Wei went to send Isaiah, Juliana, Kenneth and Charles to indonesia for Missions Trip. Yea...and went to say bye bye in our grad night costumes. hahaz...zach also came in his blazer. Diaoz...Yea..that's all for grad night.
Oh well..and den after grad night there was the Nita Johnson seminar, followed by the Pat Schatzline Summit, den Saturate Camp! Whoo hoo...it was coolz. Really...learned alot during the whole duration and set me on something. Dunnoz...throughout the whole thing it was like sermon after sermon. But i wasn't bored by it, if it had been the me in the past i would have been like...oh snorez. hahaz...yepz. Doinkz...anywayz thru out the whole period there were some pple who ministered to me prophetically. Yepz...whee. Looking forward to the next holiday fully packed again with such activities.
Lastly, orientation is coming. ok...yea! Whee..ok..that's it! My batch is planning the night games...that's all. My batch logo...rockz. whee.We're looking to the promise of old,that if we pray,and humble ourselves. That You would come, Heal our land,You'll come, You'll come to us LORD send revival start with me, For I am one of unclean lips.My eyes have seen the King,Your glory i have glimpsed.Send revival start with me. Indeed...send revival to the nations, singapore, schools and famillies...Amen
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