______THE SHADOW OF NINJAMOKI______

THE NINJA OF FIRE

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

[That I may be a humble vessel which you can use for your purposes, it would be my honour]

Well it has been donkey years since i last updated, but I just felt like updating suddenly. Everyone's moving on in life once again, looking back at my formative years in AHS and VJC I guess I am also moving on in life again.

Of cause now, I am doing nothing, looking for a job but not really getting one, because of working hours, kinda tough for me. Once again, Multi-Level Marketing comes knocking on the door, this time it is Venture Era and I am thinking again if this would be the best solution for me. Other jobs on the line are the telemarketing job and the Urban Blue Oasis restaurant.

Anyway life has come to a grinding halt for me because the process of studying has suddenly stopped for me and sometimes i feel like my brain is already degenerating. Thinking of digging out my jc maths sums and start doing again, at least exercise the mind into doing some work.

The past few years has really been a big change in my life, from the things I do and the way I do things now it would be quite a shocker a few years ago that i would be leading a life like that now. 3 years ago, my life was in a mess and even though everything on the surface in life was perfect and was like superb, but deep down inside i knew that God wasn't around in my life. It finally broke one day when i attended a cell group meeting which i had long backslided from and the CGL or somebody shared that if we do not hear from God, then we do not know God. Now that scared me, because partly I didn't want to go to hell, and i was just curious. Because since young I have been longing for something tangible from God, something which I know would leave a mark in my life. Perhaps when I was young i was tender to God and trusted God. I remembered when i was in a St John Camp in sec2 i told God that if he would deliever me out of the St John Camp i wold stop my lifestyle and go back to him and eventually i became sick during the camp.

I grew old, got into a relationship, strayed from God by not going fellowship anymore, den became the VP of student council and after the handover that's when God honoured the promise i made, for me. I felt extremely empty inside of me. Everything was meaningless, becoming famous, having a name for myself, making many friends seems like something that will become nothing in matter of time. And i had this sense of lostness in my spirit, and i longed for something to fill the hole in my heart that i was feeling.

I rememberd all the things people say, that God is truly the only one who could satisfy us, the desire in our hearts. Yada yada with all the crap about wad we have a hole that God could fill. But i just decided to give God a try again, I tried going to CHC and KPC (Mr Chua's church), but i just couldn't find what i was looking for in God. One day the CSCC AHS outreach came knocking on the door, juli handed me a postcard to invite me for One Big Day! And I decided that I would like to go to just see, and find some purpose in my own life.(also because got free food and alot of AHS ppl going) So When I reached there, I almost did not respond to the salvation call but thanks to tiffany, (she encouraged me to go forward, Tiffany if it wasn't for you that very faithful day, i wouldn't have been saved today.) I went upfront to accept Jesus as my Lord and saviour. Finally the road embarking for me for a relationship with God started, maybe you were like me at the point of time i did not feel anything special when I accepted Jesus, but as the weeks went by the relationship with God just grew and I finally found that which I have been looking for and from then on I dedicated my life to His Kingdom and just want to do the things that he wants me to do. It has been a long journey to the day that I got saved, truly saved and born again as they always say. To me He has just been so faithful to me and its amazing to see what He could do to deliever me. No more shame and hiding from that secret sin which I was struggling with. Of cause many things had to be sorted out in my life, but I gladly welcomed God to change me, because i knew that there's no other reason that I should live my life for from there onwards. Not just in the mind know, but in my heart I knew that, that would be the right choice.

Finally Christianity no longer was a religion but a relationship.

That was the beginning of my love story, its realli like the song of songs, loving one another getting intimate with Him. Longing for His presence and just wanting to kiss the lips of Him and see Him and get to be His beloved whom he has run after for since the day that I was born. (To me you have run over the hills upon the mountains) He's captured my heart as he has captured many other hearts....

I am glad that His love is not only extended to me, but to everyone else that would allow him to also. My life changed, yours can be changed too, if you would give your life to him.
(I never understood in the past why ppl were so committed to Church, but now I know the reason why)

I dunno what I would be doing now if it wasn't for You. Thank You for the grace You showed. The only sacrifice worth giving You is my whole life, because everything else belongs to You. You gave me my talents and my skills, but my life I choose to give to You. Forever may Your name be lifted up and raised higher than the heavens!Praise be to God, who reigns forever! Amen!

Wrote On|8:25 PM|

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